A view inside my mind

Bare with me..There used to be a time in my life when I did not have a problem sharing what was on my mind or on my heart. But lately it is extremely hard for me to share my feelings..so what better way to fight through it than to put it all out there in my blog.
I am a Christian..I do believe in ONE God and I have always been able to talk freely about my faith without holding back, yet over the past couple of years I have led a very apathetic life when it comes to my faith and my relationship with God.
Sometimes I feel that I don't have the right to talk about how God has worked in my life because I have not shown him in my life. Of course there are things in my life I regret, that I wish I could go back and change, but from those things I have learned alot.
I am still learning...about who I was, who I am now and who I want to be in the future. God has used my family, old friends, new friends and strangers to show me, in hind-sight.
I never want to claim to be anybody else than who I am. So..who am I? Well, I am just a person striving to be who God wants me to be and do what he wants me to do, but very likely always falling short. I have bad days, I do bad things...but I strive.
You all are my accountance, the Holy Spirit is my conscious.

"Listening to God is a firsthand experience. When he asks for your attention, God does not want you to send a substitute; he just wants you."
"Will I learn what God intends? If I listen I will."
Max Lucado, "Just like Jesus"