If you want me to

The Pathway is broken and the signs are unclear,
And I don't know the reason, why you brought me here.
But, just b/c you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if you want me to.

Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first steps,
And I'm clinging to the promise that your not through with me yet.
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you, then I will walk through the fire if you want me to.

It may not be the way I would have chosen, when you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I never go alone.

So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I 'll remember the suffering your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to

"If you want me to" : Ginny Owens

I love the words to this song. Tonight at church Mike talked about (in my words) finding your faith, hope and trust when you have lost it, or in times where it is hard to trust, hope and have faith. It made me look back on the past few years. I remember the person I was in high school, the person I was at the end of undergrad, the person I was at the start and end of Grad school and the person that I am now.

Mike also talked about how we tend to daydream about good things that could happen to us, things we would like to happen, and how sometimes we turn those daydreams into prays, and when they aren't answered the way we thought they should have been we blame God instead of admitting that it was our dreams and not God's plan for our lives.

I can remember being in high school and I had BIG plans to be this POWERHOUSE for God. I loved people and I wanted to be there for them...to be able to let God use me however, but somewhere along the line I let life's business push aside my passion. I started making my own plans and started daydreaming. When I was a senior at UT Martin finally awoke and I heard this song.....and it scared me. When I heard the line "Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first steps, and I'm clinging to the promise your not done with me yet."I was sooo afraid that I had blown it....That I chose the wrong path....that God was done with me...that he couldn't or really wouldn't use me anymore.

I know there is not one perfect path to take..that in reality life is like the adventure book where there can be different paths that lead to the end. Like the song says, "It may not be the way I would have chosen" or really" Not the way I would have wanted, " but I Believe that God is not done in my life.

For the past few years I admit that I have been focused on school, even though I know this is the career God lead me into, that was not an excuse to not consistently nurture my relationship with God and allow him to take me where he needs me to go.

SO, even though the road has not always been a mountain top experience I know I have learned from my travels through the valley.